March 31st, 2005
On the front page of the New York Times this morning, there is a priceless photo of two high-level clerics from each of the big three religions in the Middle East, Christian, Jewish and Muslim. The caption defies parody, as these six grand poobahs, in funny hats, and mostly sporting long beards, have united in their denunciation of a gay pride festival planned for Jerusalem.
Irony #1: Gay pride festivals have been made fun of for years because of the drag outfits and leather ensembles worn by certain contingents. This from men wearing long black dresses., decked out for the Spanish Inquisition.
Irony #2: Gays advocate that consenting adults should be able to love each other, even if that means having sex with each other. Between the three of these religions, one can lose count of the outrageously archaic, quasi-superstitious beliefs, some of which are pernicious in effect on the female half of humanity.
But there is a silver lining to this circus. Condolezza Rice, take note. We now have a solution to the intractable strife of the Middle East. Clearly, massive immigration there of the world’s homosexuals should be encouraged, immediately guaranteeing that all those locked in mortal battle against each other will immediately unite on a massive jihad to throw us into the sea.
There is actually good precedent for this. After all, Hitler united Germany with the glue of anti-semitism, the Soviet Union hung together for 60 years focusing on the threat from the West, and North Korea uses the same xenophobia today, (and they’ve got nukes!) I think that’s a pretty impressive track record.
In the interest of peace and unity in the Middle East, as soon as I get off parole, I intend to apply for a visa.
MCO 2005
P.S. Okay, I meant a Visa CARD. I’d like to vacation on the beach, not IN the beach.
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