March 21, 2005
I rarely blog twice in one day, but something unexpected occurred worth reporting.
You may remember my friends Larry and David, who were going to put me up for three weeks when I was still at Andrea's and before this apartment was ready. (I ended up staying at Andrea's for the duration.)
I got a call right before I was headed out to a meeting tonigt that Larry had died two nights ago. Pending autopsy results, a heart attack is assumed to be the cause. Blessedly, he died in bed, and though he opened his eyes, he didn't seem "there," according to David, during his last breaths.
David was my lover in the early 90's, but we were just friends when he met Larry around 1996. We socialized a lot in groups for a few years after they met, and then as I got into the dealing and they led a more and more married life, we fell out of touch except for the occasional phone call. I won't personally feel Larry's absence from my life, as that had long since been the case, but my bonds with David are lifelong, and I will feel the absence through him, and of course feel very much for him.
I suppose what is most disturbing to me personally is what happened when I went to see them for lunch and the movies when we got reacquainted prior to the possibility of me staying there. I had long since been aware that Larry's father had died at a heart attack at 53, and knew that they both knew that this put Larry at a high risk. (He also smoked heavily, drank a fair amount, and had HIV). But when I saw him in person my premonition that his time was near was overwhelming. Not because he looked unhealthy-- he didn't in particular--or even because he'd had some health problems of late. I'm assuming that I was just surmising that the math was against him, but a big part of me is wondering if something deeper was occuring. I remember so distinctly knowing the same thing about my friend Rob about six months before he died, at 43.
In any event, I wanted to pull David aside and make sure all of Larry's affairs were in order, more specifically, that his stated desire to have David treated like a spouse in the event of his death was legally honored. Unfortunately, Larry was a procrastinator with a misplaced sense of invincibility and probably a fair dose of denial. A rough draft of a new will was never signed. Everything, legally, will go to the family. And it is considerable, as Larry owned a beautiful house in the Hollywood Hills and a fair amount of apartment buildings.
Luckily, David was considered a member of Larry's family, and Larry had 3 gay brothers. It is hard to imagine David will be out in the street, but it is equally hard to imagine he will inherit what he would have inherited if Larry had finished a will.
If this isn't an argument for gay marriage, I don't know what is.
MCO 2005
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