March 27, 2005
I wonder what the word “Easter” comes from. It’s rather strange. A holiday that comes from the East? What would a “Wester” be?
So it looks like Terry Schiavo, then the Pope, then Prince Rainier. The law of three’s when it comes to deaths of the well-known.
Aren’t I peachy this morning? Actually I dreamt up a new reality show last night. Here’s the idea: “Get your job back.” A boss and an employee fired for cause agree to a therapeutic makeover, in which they both examine the causes of the discharge, and agree to work together to restore the position, and figure out ways they can both alter the dynamics between them. (Watch, this show will be on the air next season. This always happens to me.)
Yesterday’s memorial service reception for Larry was pleasant enough, as these things go. I was a bit surprised by the composure and equanimity exhibited by his relatives, though. Not a tear was shed. Several of us agreed our own mothers would be wrecks, probably under sedation at best. As for me, I bonded with a beautiful Bosnian girl I have known only by proxy for several years, and never met, and I bartended. This was in no way tempting, in fact I noted to myself how in the past I would have unquestionably had 4 or 5 screwdrivers to everyone else’s 1 or 2 maximum. (Except for Larry himself, who would have matched me drink for drink.)
I probably have to accept it’ll be a while before anything is likely to occur on the relationship front. Men in AA are as lonely as anyone else, but extremely wary of any involvements, as it creates all sort of potential complications when you attend the same meetings. Sponsors generally advise against it in the first year of sobriety, as long experience has shown relationship problems are the #1 cause of relapse. I’m not comfortable going to bars or cruising the Internet, and I can’t even offer my own unshared apartment, a secure income, and longterm sobriety to anybody. I would be wary of anything beyond casual flirtation with me too. (At least I get a fair amount of that.)
Oh well, I certainly have enough memories for a lifetime in this realm under my belt. (Excuse the pun). I will survive. Writing and collaboration will have to continue to be my main focus for a while. Though I certainly wouldn’t mind being wrong about this.
Happy Easter. And Wester. And Northster and Southster too.
MCO 2005
