January 16, 2005
Oh my. Can I be interesting 365 days I year? Would I read me it I wasn't me? This is the question that haunts me this morning. I take solace in the idea that some of you must be checking in only once or twice a week, so I only have to be really interesting that much. I am confronted by the reality that prison and anxiety attacks are inherently more dramatic than getting one's shit relatively together and going about the business of living.
My sister and I had a long talk and it seems to be her instinct (and mine) that L.A. is where I should remain. While I was in prison, we were anxious to make sure I would be released in an environment where I would find little temptation to return to the old ways. We didn't really expect that not only would I embrace AA, but that every other meeting I would meet someone from my past who had gotten sober. (Two more last night). So I truly have a support system here, and am feeling zero temptation.
And the better jobs are here. I applied yesterday for a postition of editor at a Publishing House for gay-themed books. I could so do this job, and very well. Of course, I wouldn't mind terribly if instead of an interview, they called me up to say they'd read the blog and wanted to sign me on as an author. Duh.
And my sister being a money-where-her-mouth-is kind of gal, has agreed with her husband that I can pay for the car after I get a job, which will give me substantial leeway here to wait and land a job that's worth waiting for, instead of the first administrative assistant type position I can find. This is quite a relief. I wish on everyone in the world a family like mine (including in-laws).
The speakers last night were brilliant (there were two of them, at a large meeting in the Valley I went to) , and one of them was also incredibly sexy. Sometimes I wish the self-identification went "I'm Blank and I'm a SINGLE alchoholic." Our stories had significant elements in common. (Yes, I gave him my card). The other was an older guy who was a professional entertainer, and he had us rollicking for his entire 45 minutes. Here's one of his gems: "you know you've hit bottom when things get worse faster than you can lower your standards."
I was just listening to This American Life, with Ira Glass, on NPR. They did an entire segment on what it is like for American soldiers in Iraq. almost entirely quoting the soldiers themselves (no one can accuse them of spin). Many scenes were heard from a TV documentary (soon to be aired I think) called "Off to War" which documents the experience of an Arkansas National Guard Unit over their entire year's tour of duty. I heartily recommend it. If the right wing in this country doesn't want to listen to the opinion of the "liberally-biased media" (a fiction, in any case), they need only to listen to the soldiers we all support.
Today I am engaging in one of my very favorite activities. I'm going to a flea market, where I always find really cool old postcards, photos, and magazines. In fact, I'm feeling such a hankering to do some art myself again that I bought a poster-sized section of papyrus from the art store, and intend to start slathering it with letters I received while inside. It was a hard thing to give that stamp collage to my sister, I had grown rather close to my creation. So this will be even more interesting, and all for me.
The blog is all for you.
MCO 20054
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