December 9, 2004
I am happy to report that the AA meeting that I attended tonight was thoroughly undramatic, in a good way. I experienced no triggers, and no irritation at the structure. It’s just a bunch of people in recovery talking, most of them very honest and sweetly funny.
All this I knew, actually, and sort of forgot. Interestingly enough, I realized that I had been "working" the steps to a degree these past months. I made serious attempts to take responsibility for my addiction and my predicament, and to make amends by reaching out to those who I had withdrawn from.
It was also nice to be in a group of people and have some healthy social interaction. I even sat next to an old customer who I had actually been pretty close to. And I experienced a certain alleviation of anxiety that seem to come from listening to people simply trying to cope with life after wading through disaster.
After the meeting I went to an apartment where my friend is housesitting, ate pizza, and watched CSI. It is interesting to continue a sober friendship that had previously been completely centered around our mutual drug use. I am happy to say we still laugh together incessantly, and are very affectionate with each other.
So that was my evening. And yes, I will go to more meetings. Now, to bed.
MCO 2004
I thought that these proposed revised 12 steps make a lot of sense. They were created by a group of therapists that felt the original 12 steps were a bit outdated and at times counterproductive.
http://www.unhooked.com/sep/aacouns.htm
THE 12 STEPS
Step 1
AA Step 1: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Proposed Step 1: I realize that I am not in control of my use of alcohol.
Step 2
AA Step 2: We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Proposed Step 2: I acknowledge that a spiritual awakening can help me to find a new direction.
Step 3
AA Step 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Proposed Step 3: I am ready to follow and stay true to the new path I have chosen.
Step 4
AA Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Proposed Step 4: I have the strength and courage to look within and to face whatever obstacles hinder my continued personal and spiritual development.
Step 5
AA Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Proposed Step 5: I commit to become fully aware of how my use of alcohol hurt those around me.
Step 6
AA Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Proposed Step: I am changing my life and developing my human potential.
Step 7
AA Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Proposed Step 7: I am proud of my strength and ability to grow.
Step 8
AA Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Proposed Step 8: I will do all I can to make up for the ways I have hurt myself and others.
Step 9
AA Step 9: We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Proposed Step 9: I will take direct action to help others in any way that I can.
Step 10
AA Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Proposed Step 10: I will strive to be self-aware and follow the new path I have chosen.
Step 11
AA Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
Proposed Step 11: I will continue to develop my potential through helping others and strive to become fully conscious of myself and life around me.
of the world around him" (Kirschenbaum & Henderson, 1989, p. 75).
Step 12
AA Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Proposed Step 12: I will continue to develop my own human potential and spirituality and will actively help others who cannot control their use of alcohol.