I am going to make an effort with my penmanship (or pencilmanship, as it were.) . What after all, is the point of sobriety if I cannot discipline myself to write legibly? By the way, I don’t know if I’ve been more naturally charged up before- Rebecca [my cousin] said it very well “How many influences in the world cause us to forget our heritage of drug-free happiness? ” There is a solidity to it that I never had with meth. I used to note, wryly , but rather truthfully, that when addicts described the perfect high it sounded very much like the perfect sobriety. “In control, not out of control, steady, feeling good, not too up, not too down just right in between. Duhhhh.”
As I have written you, mail has been lurchy (a made-up word) of late, last night there was none because someone had grabbed the wrong bag, and so they distributed yesterday's at noon today. “Bed 15” - me- got one and another and another and another and another and another- including the fabulous postcard from Caroline. So everyone is like “DUDE WHAT IS UP WITH THE MAIL!” And I announce to your fans (they are not mine, my dear sister, they are yours) "It’s my sister sending me paper!" So at my bunk they gather around enthralled- I feels like Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music” right before she sings “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things” to the Von Trapp children (in bed during the storm).
Any resentment about my bounty evaporated when they saw the gorgeous sampling of paper and mesmerizing writing utensils, including the 2 Fat Ticonderoga pencils that they couldn’t believe got through. Of course I dispensed your munificence to those in need of a pencil or paper or postage. The Disney stamps were most popular, as “models” perfect for the inmates who draw to make for greeting cards home to the little ones. There is nothing preventing their relatives from sending the inmates here what you send, they just don’t.
With all these letters and treasures from you, tonight I don’t feel imprisoned at all. My brain is so without bars on it, so unencumbered. And tomorrow is a brand new day.
MCO 2004
MCO 2004
