Day 90- Written from Delano Reception Center, North Kern State Prison
I am washing out socks and trading vitamins (which all the HIV+ get) for “luxuries” like stamped envelopes and coffee, but so far my efforts have only yielded me one stamped envelope (this one) and some paper (these sheets). It looks like May 12 before I will be able to touch “my funds” which is the fault of nobody but the bureaucracy’s. (I’m told at the county jail in Orange County, one could go to the “store” 3 times a week! What a set up! What do you want, it’s a Republican county. My bartering also gained me this pen, but the ink is low. So be prepared for pencil before this letter is out.)
Anyway, among a so-awaited deluge of letters, today I got one from Erica and with great pics of Nat and Sam, an older one from Mom and Claudine (that had been sent back) a long one from Françoise and plus wonderful pix and a short one from Mireille and one from Alex to SJO via Vietnam. It was so wonderful you have no idea!
This new giant dormitory living with the straight boys and navigating the delicate racial politics is proving to be sociologically interesting to say the least. For example: many major announcements (like “hang out at your bunks like good boys for another 5 minutes”) are issued in triplicate to each racial group. The “caller” will finish his pronouncement with a catch phrase that gets a mass response from his group only. So far I can only figure out what the Latin caller ends his with: “Gracias!” To which the mass Latino reply is “A TI!” (“Back at you!” basically.) The black “caller” sounds like he is saying “One LUP” and that is exactly what the response sounds like (one love? one lump? or two?). I heard the white one my first night here but couldn’t make it out, and do not want to ask as that entire realm of topics makes me nervous.
It seems like I offended some sensibilities by going barefoot to the bathroom. This, I discovered, is a highly verboten poor reflection on the “Woods” (the whites) whose rationale I was told lay in the hygienic objection, but I’m convinced it is a historical legacy of an inmate population with meager means to feel superior to anyone, and no doubt arose before the days of state-issued footwear for all, when the white inmates were much more likely to be wearing shoes then the non-whites. I somewhat redeemed myself for my transgression by contributing an entire brand new tube of toothpaste to the White "kitty." The toothpaste was given to me for the promise of a book of stamps when my “store” came in –stamps that will themselves be traded for tobacco- the consumption of which is fairly tolerated by the guards if though it’s technically not allowed in Reception (thought it is in the “Mainline,” i.e. where one if eventually assigned). After all, the substance itself is not illegal, and this is not a exactly a population likely to rise up in arms about the perils of secondhand smoke! In fact, prison seems to be the last California hold-out of the cough-free-or-diers, and access to smokes was is both embedded in commerce and a method of control. I will write about this tomorrow in my “Notes in Prison” in fact….along with my realization today that conversations about religion and politics are to be avoided in prison to that much greater a degree than they are to be avoided at your neighbor’s barbecue. I have a new bunkie in this dorm (he lower, me upper- I have resigned myself to this being the case for my stay here) who is in every way a sweet charmer (like my previous cellie-its very hard to square the man with the crime- in this case another drug/drunk-fueled acting-out that led to the “oops!” torching of an apartment building-unoccupied at the time). Dyno is an ex-marine and his appraisal of Iraq’s political situation was a tribute to the moral nefariousness of Dubya’s propaganda machine-getting the “people” to think things not even George himself claim is true (9/11 caused by Sadaam etc.) You can imagine the umbrage taken by yours truly, Mr. New-York-Times-subscriber-even-on-speed-I had-to-be-informed-in-case-Madeline-Albright-called-for-advice when my assertion that 90% of the anti-American terrorism was a post-invasion phenomenon was questioned….I thought best to just withdraw and shut up before I addressed him as a member of the great unwashed lumpen-proletariat. My quiet provoked a “we’re just talking, man!” reaction, topped by “you’ve gotta work on your people skills, dawg, or you’re not going to enjoy your stay here very much!” to which I could barely suppress the drippingly sarcastic rejoinder “Do you have any idea how deeply it wounds me to think my “people skills” are lacking, considering what we both know to be the caliber of “people” with which I must interact in this fine institution of lower learning?” But I decided to keep a sock in it.
Speaking of lower learning, I found myself forced to kill some time reading the New Testament last week. I was floored by how much less sympathetically Jesus Christ is depicted in the words of the Bible than I remembered, or thought I did. Has anyone read the Parables recently? Some of them can only be described as decidedly unchristian, to my eyes at least.
Apart from all that, the situation here competes fairly well with County Jail. Of course I much preferred being amongst my own kind at County, but the food was dreadful and the noise level could be stressful. But at least there was the occasional decent TV show, some newspapers and most of all the phone! Mike was a great cellie in Cellblock B [where Marc was, in 2 man cell, for his first two weeks at Delano] but being in that small space for 23/24 was decidedly unpleasant. This situation is a challenge –but it’s not uninteresting to have a chance to see myself try to operate with a seeming appearance of heterosexuality. No need to go overboard on giving that impression, because men secure in their heterosexuality don’t bother to. The greater danger is to try too hard not to do anything that might be a “tip off” but in the event I am unsuccessful, have no fear. A quick conversation with the CO (Corrections Officer ) would get me into protective custody, and if I can just get through this 8 weeks, where I end up (in Minimum Security) after this will probably be more like a day camp.
MCO 2005
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